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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25451518">Newton’s Third Law</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fandom_Life_Corrupted_Me/pseuds/Fandom_Life_Corrupted_Me'>Fandom_Life_Corrupted_Me</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Star Trek</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Aftermath of Nero, F/M, Future smut???, I'm Bad At Tagging, Introspection, James T. Kirk Has Issues, Jim is not one of them, M/M, Multi, My First Star Trek fanfic, Nightmares, No Uhura Hate, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Past Abuse, Slow Burn, Slut!Spock, Spock has issues, Spock is one of them, Tarus IV, Why Did I Write This?, i suck at summaries too, maybe a little bit, no beta we die like men, poor grammar, this is why we can’t have nice things</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-07-22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-08-16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 09:07:00</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>13,473</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25451518</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fandom_Life_Corrupted_Me/pseuds/Fandom_Life_Corrupted_Me</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Story starts mid-way through first Star Trek movie (Chris Pine) exploring Kirk’s thought process and continuing to explore the aftermath of Nero and Vulcans destruction and their effect on the federations and Jim and Spock’s relationship.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>James T. Kirk/Spock, Spock/Nyota Uhura</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>23</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. [Kirk]</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>This is my first Star Trek fanfic, I just finished reading Kirk’s Autobiography (Not 100% sure if its considered canon but it’s GOOD) and couldn’t shake the thoughts about Kelvin timeline Jim and his thought processes about everything. </p><p>Updates will be when we inspiration strikes, so likely randomly and with no pattern. Sorry ahead of time.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>*************</p><p><br/>
Jim knew it probably wasn’t the smartest decision, but dammit this one wasn’t even his fault. Bones saw his face, read the unhappiness and frustration there and pulled Jim along for the ride claiming that he owed him one. Maybe he should have protested more, but Bones could be terrifying in his own right when decided on something, and he had decided the James Kirk was going to get on that death trap with him regardless of the rules. Then he's running through the halls of the ship not even able to really take in the beauty of it because of the <em> lighting storm in space </em>. Pike would believe him, had believed him. Hell Jim had even managed to convince Spock of the threat. Then everything fell apart. </p><p>Remains of the ships that arrived before them drifted in space ready to crash into each other and the enterprise with a vengeance. Then Nero, and Pike didnt listen. Instead sending him down to Vulcan and giving him a promotion that Jim is still not sure was technically allowed. Stalls-a-way to first officer? Sulu a good guy, but the drill had already done its share of damage. Watching the Asian man teeter on the edge of the drill as it prepared to fall sent a jolt of panic in his stomach and brought dark memories.  When Sulu fell, Jim jumped after him. Wrapping his arms around the man, pulling his chute trying to save him. As the landed on the landing pad, Sulu looked at him with deep gratitude and Jim tried to ignore that old feeling that was threatening to surface. Like it or not, Jim had in a way adopted Sulu. The helmsman was now family in his mind. It seemed ironic in a way, that Kirk gained a family member as Spock lost one. His mother falling to her death, dying alongside countless other vulcans as the planet imploded on itself. An old strong race, reduced to refugees in a matter of minutes. Which led to Jim’s next not so bright idea, arguing with a Vulcan who just lost his mother. </p><p>All of this leaving him to run for his life on Delta Vega, which was technically classified as a class M planet but Kirk was beginning to doubt that. What with all the <em> giant beasts trying to eat him and each other. </em> Just when he thought that was it, that he would die some stupid death to some sort of over grown polar bear <em> thing </em> an old Vulcan saved him. A Vulcan who is now claiming to be Spock.</p><p> </p><p>“It’s remarkably good to see you again Jim.” Fake Spock said, bringing him further into the ice cave, letting him warm next to the fire. “Especially under these circumstances.” Jim had never met a crazy Vulcan before but of course it would be his luck it would now. “How did you find me?”</p><p> </p><p>“I- find you?” Jim gave a half laugh of disbelief. “Look. I am glad you saved me, but I don't know you. I’ve never met you.”</p><p> </p><p>“I am Spock, and I am and always shall be your friend.” The Vulcan announced solemnly. </p><p> </p><p>“Bullshit.” Jim fired back and the Vulcan raised his brow. “Your not- if you were Spock then you would know that <em> we aren’t friends </em> . You took me to court, you <em> marooned </em> me here on this planet for mutiny.”</p><p> </p><p>“<em> Mutiny </em>?” Spock questions his other brow raising as he considered the information. “Then you are not the captain?”</p><p> </p><p>“No.” Jim said tiredly, as the slow realization that he would likely never become a captain started to sink in. “You,” he gestured, “are the captain— Acting Captain. Captain Pike was taken.”</p><p> </p><p>“By Nero.” The Vulcan stated pulling his attention back. </p><p> </p><p>“Yeah. What do you know of him?”</p><p> </p><p>“He’s a particularly troubled Romulan.” The Vulcan said. </p><p> </p><p>“He knew you.” Jim said, watching him closely, still not convinced that the old Vulcan was Spock. Maybe the Vulcan knew that or maybe he didn't, regardless he stood and held out his hand. Jim suppressed a flinch. He knew that gesture.</p><p> </p><p>“Forgive me, it would be easier to show you.” Grudgingly Jim allowed it, but his memories of previous mind melds couldn’t prepare him for this one. </p><p> </p><p>“My mind to your mind, <em> my thoughts to your thoughts </em>”</p><p> </p><p><em> Jim was drowning. There was no water, only the suffocating feeling of anguish and pain as memories began to pour over each other. Overlapping with Old Spocks voice narrating. This Vulcan, really was Spock from the future. “That is where I’m from Jim.” Echoing over and over again inside his skulls as images of Him standing on the sands of Vulcan next to a Vulcan woman appeared. The red colored sand surrounding the barren desert rocks like blood and We struggle against Captain Kirk in a fight to the death. The making of a ship, the fastest ship they had. “We had little time.”  Chess boards and quiet evenings in the observation room, watching the stars fly by. The destruction of Romulus seemed jarring, splintering apart into thousands of little pieces. Standing on a frozen wasteland looking up and watching as my home world died in front of me. Crying as Sulu roams the halls with a sword as a virus brings the ship down into chaos. “Just as he was helpless to save his world, I would be helpless to save mine.” Watching my captain fight a gorn in a death battle on an unexplored planet.  Billions of lives lost, because of me. Because I failed. </em> </p><p> </p><p>The meld broke, and Jim turned away gasping for air at the pain and loss filled his lungs in an achingly horrible way. The guilt and pain had tears running down his cheeks and Jim tried to focus. </p><p> </p><p>“Forgive me. Emotional transference is an effect of the mind meld.” </p><p> </p><p>“So you do feel.” He blurted out, not sure what else was supposed to say only that he had to say something. Do something. </p><p> </p><p>“Yes.”</p><p> </p><p>“Coming back here, you changed all of our lives.” Jim slowly straighter, “You really him aren’t you, Spock that is?” The Vulcan nodded before grabbing a stick from the fire. </p><p> </p><p>“There’s a starfleet outpost not far from here.”</p><p> </p><p>“Wait, did— before... Did I know my father?” He hadn’t seen him in Spock's memories. Only a strange version of himself who seemed more confident, more relaxed than himself. A better captain than he could be. </p><p> </p><p>“Yes. You often spoke of him as your inspiration for joining Starfleet. He proudly lived to see you become captain of the enterprise.” He explained and Jim tried to wrap his head around having a dad. “A ship we must return you too as quickly as possible.” </p><p> </p><p>They made the trudge through the snow, finding the old metal door where the Star fleet outpost supposedly lay. Jim feel the cold eat at his fingertips and bite at his ears as the walked in and pulled the door shut behind them. Despite the loud artificial sounding alarm, no officer waited inside for them. </p><p> </p><p>“Hello?” He called, renewing at the unusual emptiness of the building. The pitter patter of small feet echoed on the metal floor as a short humanoid ran up to meet them. The creature made a clicking noise as a voice called down the hall. </p><p> </p><p>“Who is it?” He glanced back at Spock, the Spock from the future. Old Spock. That’s what I’m going to him from now on, Jim decided. As they walked down the hall and started to thaw they saw only a single other person— a human. “Oh fin’lly!” The man exclaims in a heavy Scottish accent. “Three months I been waitin’! Livin’ off scraps.” He huffs. “But your ‘ere now so where is it?”  Kirk just stared at the man trying to follow his line of reasoning. </p><p> </p><p>“We aren’t—“</p><p> </p><p>“Fascinating.” Old Spock said, and Jim turned to stare at him. “You are in fact Montgomery Scotty.”</p><p> </p><p>“Uh yeah, unless there’s ‘nother <em> equally </em>hardworkin’ Starfleet officer around.” </p><p> </p><p>“Me.” The short creature said. </p><p> </p><p>“Shut it.” The man said. “You eat like a bean n’ your done. But I’m talking’ about food. Real food.” </p><p> </p><p>“Fascinating. You are in fact, the Mr.Scott who formulated the theory of trans warp beaming?”</p><p> </p><p>“See that’s what I’m talking’ ‘bout? How’d ya think I wound here?” The scotts man grumbled. “Had a wee bit of debate with my instructor on the issue with relativistic physics and how it relates to subspace travel. He seemed to think that the range of transporting something Like a grapefruit, was limited to about a 100 miles.” The man took a drink from his cup next to him before continuing, likely eager to have someone to listen to him rant. </p><p> </p><p>Okay, great. So Spock knew this guy in the past— or the future— his future? He knew him at some point. Which was nice, but all Kirk wanted to do was run and save his people. His crew. </p><p> </p><p>“I told him that, I could not only beam a grapefruit from one planet to the adjacent planet in the same system— which is easy by the way— but that I could do it with a life form.” A guilt expression round itself on the Scotsman’s face. “So, I tested it on admiral Archer's prize beagle.”</p><p>  </p><p>“I know that dog, what happened to it?” Jim asked, his curiosity overcoming him. </p><p> </p><p>“I'll tell you when it reappears. I don't know, I do feel guilty about that.”</p><p> </p><p> “What if I told you that your transwarp theory was correct? That it is indeed possible to beam onto</p><p>a ship, that is travelling at warp speed?” Old Spock said simply and Kirk could guess what was coming next. </p><p>  </p><p>“I think that if that equation had been discovered, I'd have heard about it.” The Scotsman respond with heavy sarcasm</p><p> </p><p>“The reason you haven't heard of it, Mr. Scott, is because you haven't discovered it yet.”</p><p>  </p><p>“Wait— Are you saying your from the future?</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah he is, I'm not.” Kirk answered impatiently, as mental images of crazy Romulans and exploding planets kept popping up in his brain. </p><p> </p><p>“Well that’s great.” Scotty remarked easily before leaning forward and asking, “do they still have sandwiches there?” Kirk wanted to laugh at how easily. Scott’s man was taking all of this in. Either the man was a mad genius or a seriously damaged individual. As he recalled the incident with Admiral Archer's prized beagle Jim wondered exactly which it was. Regardless the Scotsman let them use his transporter. After seeing it, however, Kirk rethought the term transporter pad. It was more like something <em> resembling </em>a transporter held together by duct tape and pure prayer. Jim would be lying if he said he wasn’t impressed. </p><p> </p><p>“Except the thing is, even if I believed you— Where you're from, what I've done —Which I don't, by the way— You're still talking about beaming aboard the <em> Enterprise </em> .” Scotty said frowning. “ <em> And  </em>while she's travelling faster than light without a proper receiving pad.” The man sighed as Old Spock continued to type away on the tiny computer. Soon Kirk would back aboard the enterprise. The thought was enough to send his stomach into backflips. “The notion of transwarp beaming is like— trying to hit a bullet with a smaller bullet whilst wearing a blindfold, riding a horse.” Scotty finished, before reading what the Vulcan has typed. “What's that?”</p><p> </p><p>“Your equation for achieving transwarp beaming.” Old Spock answered, and maybe if Kirk wasn’t so wound up he could appreciate the groundbreaking technology realizations taking place. Instead all the blonde felt was anxiety. Especially when he noticed that Vulcan was making no move to board the transporter pad with him. </p><p>  </p><p>“Imagine that, it never occurred to me to think of space as the thing that was moving.” Scotty mused </p><p> </p><p>“Your coming with us right?” Jim asked, as an achingly familiar and unwanted feeling began to resurface. </p><p> </p><p>“No, Jim. That is not my destiny.” He replied, and Kirk wanted to throw something. </p><p>  </p><p>“Your dest— He— The other <em> Spock </em> is not gonna believe me, only you can explain what the hell happened.”</p><p> </p><p>“Under no circumstances can he be made aware of my existence, you must promise me this.” </p><p> </p><p>“You're telling me I can't tell you that I'm following you're own orders, why not? What happens?” Kirk asked both frustrated and curious. Ready to tuck away the information for later. </p><p> </p><p>“Jim, this is one rule you cannot break. To stop Nero, you alone must take command of your ship.” </p><p> </p><p>“How, over your dead body?” Jim practically demanded, running a hand through his hair as he tried to wrap his head around the mind fuckery of it all whilst nursing a headache from the mind meld earlier. </p><p> </p><p>“Preferably, not.” Old Spock answered, seemingly amused. “However, there is Starfleet regulation 619.” Kirk frowned trying to remember which regulation that was. The Vulcan must have seen it because he continued by explaining, “Regulation 619 states that any command officer, who is emotionally compromised by the mission at hand must resign set command.” </p><p> </p><p>“Okay So, you're saying that I have to </p><p>emotionally compromise you, uh, guys?” Not sure he wanted to risk it and call him Old Spock to his face. </p><p>  </p><p>“Jim, I just lost my planet. I am emotionally compromised. What you must do is get me to show it.” The Vulcan said simply, and Jim swallowed and nodded, recalling the sheer <em> loss </em> that had echoed across the mind meld. Something he was working very hard to repress. </p><p>  </p><p>“Ya know… Coming back in time, changing history, that's cheating.” Kirk said with a half smile wondering if Spock would get it. If that was something that even happened in that universe. </p><p> </p><p>“A trick I learned from an old friend.” Spock said knowingly before continuing, “Live long and prosper.”</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>******************</p><p> </p><p>The transporting process could have gone smoother, Kirk thought, as he accessed the emergency valve to let Scotty out of water pipes. </p><p> </p><p>“You alright?” Kirk asked, but Scotty didn’t respond right away. “<em> Are You alright </em>?!” He yelled a bit louder, worry creeping into his voice. The Scotsman waved him off.</p><p> </p><p>“My heads buzzin’ an’ I’m soaked but otherwise I’m fine.” He answered as water continued to drip into the floor. Knowing that security had likely been alerted, he grabbed the Scott’s and by the arm and started to flee the scene. </p><p> </p><p>Only to be caught a little while later. </p><p> </p><p>“Come with me cupcake.” The man ordered, and Jim cursed his luck that it was the guy from the bar those two and half years ago that had the phaser pointed at his chest.  Scotty and Kirk were escorted up to the bridge, which suited Jim just fine. That’s where he needed to be anyway— at least according to Old Spock. </p><p> </p><p>Getting in and going up the turbo lift sent butterflies through Kirk's stomach as he tried to get a grip on himself. He just had to get a <em> vulcan </em> to show emotion. Simple. Easy. <em>Not</em>. </p><p> </p><p>“Who are you?” Spock stated rising from the Captains chair as the entered the bridge. </p><p> </p><p>“I'm with him.” Scotty said, the same moment Jim replies with, </p><p> </p><p>“He's with me.”</p><p> </p><p>“We're travelling at warp speed. How did you manage to beam aboard this ship?” Spock questioned, looking at kirk and Jim braced himself, trying to remember every false rumor or negative playboy story thing anyone ever told about him. He needed that reputation, needed to live it if he was going to get through <em> this.  </em></p><p> </p><p>“Hey you're the genius, you figure it out.” The blonde answered flippantly. </p><p> </p><p>“As acting captain of this vessel I order you to answer the question.” Spock responded. </p><p> </p><p>“Well I'm not telling, acting captain.” He began to taunt, before quickly realizing that wouldn’t really work. “What, did-? What now? That doesn't frustrate you, does it? My lack of cooperation, that- that doesn't make you angry?” He said aloud, both to annoy him— give him a way to step down gracefully— but also because Kirk had no idea how to get him to show emotion. </p><p> </p><p>“Are you a member of Starfleet?”</p><p> </p><p>“I... Uhm... yes. Can I get a towel, please?” Scotty asked politely, still <em> dripping wet </em>. </p><p> </p><p>“Under penalty of court martial I order you to explain to me how you were able to beam aboard the ship while moving at warp.” </p><p> </p><p>“Right. Well—“ </p><p> </p><p>“Don’t answer him.” Kirk said quickly as he recalled old Spock. Would Scotty know not to share that bit of info? Be able to keep a secret? How would Scotty just be able explain it otherwise? The headache from the mind meld hadn’t faded, and a memory of a tiny garden on Vulcan bubbles to front his mind, and Jim remembered— Spock's mother. He had just lost his mother and his planet. </p><p> </p><p>“You will answer me.”</p><p> </p><p>“I…. wouldn’t rather not take side.” He said slowly, glancing between the two and reading the line of tension. </p><p> </p><p>“What is it with you, Spock?” Kirk began, knowing it was low blow but not sure how else to do what needed to be done. “Your planet was just destroyed, your mother murdered, and you're not even upset.” </p><p> </p><p>“If you are presuming that these experiences in any way impede my ability to command this ship, you are mistaken.” Spock denied quickly. </p><p> </p><p>“And yet you were the one who said fear was necessary for command. I-, d- did you his ship? Do you see what he did?</p><p> </p><p>“Yes, of course I did.”</p><p> </p><p>“So are you afraid or aren't you?” Kirk demanded, his voice dropping as he stepped right into Spock's personal space. </p><p> </p><p>“I will not allow you to lecture me about the merits of emotion.” </p><p> </p><p>“Then why don't you stop me?”</p><p> </p><p>“Step away from me Mr. Kirk.” The Vulcan Warner, and Kirk could almost see how this would end. Still it wasn’t enough. </p><p> </p><p>“What is it like not to feel anger or heartbreak? Or the need, to stop at nothing, to avenge the death of the woman who gave birth to you.” </p><p> </p><p>“Back away from me.” The Vulcan Warner, muscles tensing.” </p><p> </p><p>“You feel nothing! It must not even compute for you. You never loved her!” Spock lunged. </p><p> </p><p>Whatever thoughts Kirk had about fighting Spock were nothing compared to actually fighting a pissed off vulcan. The blonde was still reeling from the punch Spock had thrown, before a strike to the gut let him gasping for breath. Vague memories of academy lectures about Vulcan history surface and Kirk could see why Vulcans were renowned as fierce predators once upon a time. Spock was fast, strong and merciless. Sending Kirk crashing backwards into the control panel before pinning down by his throat. </p><p> </p><p>Guilt and regret coursed through his body as the blonde tried to focus and get his wits together. He knew Vulcans were touch telepaths. As he was pinned down gasping for air he tried to get his thoughts to focus to share the information. He doubted anyone could stop Spock right now and he sure as hell wasn't prepared for the beast that tried to tear him apart. Over my dead body I guess, kirk thought as his vision started to black out. </p><p> </p><p>Someone spoke, Kirk couldn’t tell who, but suddenly it was as though Spock had been thrown back into himself. He let go of his throat and Kirk bent over gasping and coughing, as Spock slowly walked to where Bones stood shocked and worried. </p><p> </p><p>“Doctor, I am no longer fit for duty. I hereby relinquish my command based on the fact that I have been emotionally compromised. Please note the time and date in the ship's log.” Spock said quietly before leaving the bridge without another word. The remaining bridge crew looked shaken trying to wrap their heads around what just happened. </p><p> </p><p>“Well congratulations, Jim, now we've got no captain and no God damn first officer to replace him.” Bones grumbled crossing his arms and looking at his best friend with muted fury.</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah we do.” Kirk answered his voice still hoarse. </p><p> </p><p>“What?” </p><p> </p><p>“Pike made him first officer.” Sulu explained, tense. </p><p> </p><p>“You've gotta be kidding me.”</p><p> </p><p>“Thanks for the support.” Jim fired back as he stood and walked over to the captain's chair and tried to decide what to do next. </p><p> </p><p>“I sure hope you know what you're doing, captain.” Uhura Warner, as she returned to her post at communications. </p><p> </p><p> So do I, Jim thought, not meeting her eyes. Old Spock had only wanted him to take command. He never told him a plan on how to beat Nero. Not that it matters, Jim decided. I know what doesn’t work, and I know roughly what we can do. I can work from there. The blonde tried to clear his throat and pressed the ship wide comm button,<br/>
<br/>
</p><p>“Attention, crew of the Enterprise, this is James Kirk. Mr. Spock has resigned commission and advanced me to acting captain. I know you're all expecting to regroup with the fleet, but I'm ordering a pursuit course of the enemy ship to Earth. I want all departments at battle</p><p>stations and ready in 10 minutes. Either we're going down or they are. Kirk out.” He finished, closing the comm and trying to blink away the absurdly bright lights everywhere whose only purpose seemed to be making his headache worse. </p><p><br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. [Spock]</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>***************</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It had been a long time since Spock had lost control in such a fashion. Not since he had been a boy still at the Vulcan learning Academy. The hypocritical taunts of his peer group ringing in his ears once more as he sought his control once more. Spock tightened his hands, grasping his wrists as he stood in the empty transporter room, his mind turning to his earlier conversation with Dr.McCoy. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>**************</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“You wanted to see me?”</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Yes. Doctor. I am aware that James Kirk is a friend of yours. I recognize that supporting me, as</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>you did, must have been difficult.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Is that a thank you?”</span>
  </em>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“I am simply acknowledging your difficulties.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Permission to speak freely, sir.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“I welcome it.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Do you?</span>
  </em>
  <span>” </span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Okay then. Are you out of your Vulcan mind? Are you making a logical choice sending Kirk away? Probably, but the right one?” The doctor continued saying some bizarre human saying. “Back home we've got a saying. If you're gonna ride in the Kentucky derby, you don't leave your prize stallion in the stable.”  </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>A curious metaphor, Doctor, as a stallion must first be broken, before it can reach its potential.” Spock had responded. </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“My God man. You could at least act like it was a hard decision.</span>
  </em>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span> “I intend to insist in the effort to reestablish  communication with Starfleet. However, if crew morale is better served by my roaming the halls weeping I would gladly defer to your medical expertise.” </span>
  </em>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>*************</span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>Upon reflection Spock realizes now how paradoxal his own words had been. Spock had essentially marooned the now acting Captain Kirk for voicing his opinions. Something which was his role as first officer, though the passion and volume of the argument was unnecessary. Spock had behaved illogically and to his shame, he did so </span>
  <em>
    <span>publicly</span>
  </em>
  <span>. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Never before had Spock felt so alone— so unmoored as he did now. Motherless, homeless, shipless and </span>
  <b>shamed</b>
  <span>. Anger burned him in a fierce way, reminiscent of the Vulcans of old as Kirk’s  words raced through his mind. There in the quiet, protected, parts of his mind, Spock could admit he loved his mother, regretted not spending more time with her, even though he had acted as a Vulcan should have. </span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>“Speak your mind Spock.” Sarek voiced and Spock pressed his hands together tighter.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“....That would be unwise.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“What is necessary is never unwise.” Spock could see the logic in those words, knew the wisdom. Feeling shame burn at his ears again at being forced to admit his feelings aloud. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I am as conflicted as I once was as a child.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“You will always be a child of two worlds. I am grateful for this. And for you.” Sarek responded and Spock blinked, turning to truly face his father for the first time in a long time. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I feel anger for the one who took my mother's life. An anger I cannot control.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I believe, as she would say...do not try to.” His father responded, and Spock was almost shocked at the word. To experience an emotion and not control went against the Vulcan way and what was he if not Vulcan? Spock gazed at his father and saw the loss there in his eyes and felt it through his bond with father. Felt it in the absence of his mother’s bond. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“You asked me once, why I married your mother. I married her because I loved her.” Later, when Spock had more time to rest and meditate on this conversation he would wonder if this was Sareks way of apologizing for the rift that had formed between them after refusing the Vulcan Science Academy. At the moment, however,  all Spock felt was a quiet sense of understanding. </span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>*******************</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>As Spock returned to the bridge he couldn’t help calculating the odds that Kirk would let him enter. Human emotionalism wasn’t in his favor, and from what he had gathered of Kirks academy reputations his character’s proclivities leaned more towards sex and cheating his way to success rather than following a logical or moral pattern expected of Starfleet officers. As the turbo lift rose Spock could make out the beginnings of the conversation, even before arriving, thanks to his Vulcan heritage. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Whatever the case, we need to get aboard Nero's ship undetected.” Kirk stated. His words indicate elevated emotions, likely the result of an argument occurring, Spock reasoned, and mentally adjusted his odds of success. Kirk was already in a heightened emotional state and he had yet to board the bridge. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“You can't just go in there guns blazing, Jim, not with their typ—“ the Doctor argues before being interrupted by Sulu. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I'm telling you the math doesn't support—“ </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Captain Kirk. Captain Kirk.” A young Russia voice chimed in interrupting the other two and Spock recalled Cadet Chekov. A prodigy among his class, entering the academy even before finishing high school. </span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes, Chekov. What is it?” Kirk asked, and Spock's estimation of the acting captain rose. On more than one occasion he had witnessed humans disregarding others opinions or information solely due to their age or rank. Knowledge and ideas can come from many unlikely sources, and age is only one method of judging one's ability and often the most misleading. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Based on ze Nerada’s course from Wulcan, I have projected that Nero vill travel past Saturn. Like you said ve need to stay invisible to Nero or he'll destroy us. </span>
  <b>If</b>
  <span> Mr. Scott can get us to varp factor 4 and if ve drop out of varp behind one of Saturn's moons, </span>
  <em>
    <span>say Titan</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” Chekov continued, as the turbo lift doors opened and Spock stepped out. They had yet to notice him, still focused on the plan. Spock saw no reason to distract, and was himself focused on Mr.Chekov’s reasoning. “Ze magnetic distortion from ze planet's rings vill make us invisible to Nero's sensors. From there, as long as ze drill is not activated ve can beam aboard the enemy ship.” The Russian teenager finished with a flourish. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Aye, that might work.” Scotty said whilst drying his hair. Spock briefly considered what he knew of Titan and of the enemy’s ships and began to assess the teenagers projecting to see if it was indeed a viable plan. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Wait a minute kid, how old are you?” The doctor questioned.</span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>“17, sir.” Chekov responded quickly, eager to be helpful. </span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Oh good, he's 17</span>
  </em>
  <span>.” The doctor related, this time looking directly at Kirk in what Spock presumed to be a form of silent communication. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Doctor.” Spock said, his assessment complete and deciding now was the optimal time to make his presence known. “Mr. Chekov is correct. I can confirm his telemetry. If Mr. Sulu is able to maneuver us into position I can beam aboard Nero's ship, steal back the black hole device and if possible, bring back Captain Pike.” He explain easily though the odds of retrieving both the black hole device and Captian Pike were slim on his own. A fact that the others were likely aware of. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I won't allow you to do that Mr. Spock.” Kirk responded and the Vulcan arched a brow as he stepped forward, though he was careful to keep himself out of arm's reach. Spock remained uncertain to what degree Kirk’s seeming acceptance was. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Romulans and Vulcans share a common ancestry. Our cultural similarities will make it easier  for me to access the ship's computer to locate the device.” The Vulcan hesitated, but knowledge that they were in fact human had him continuing. “Also my mother was human. Which makes Earth the only home I have left.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Then I'm coming with you.” Kirk said as if that had settled it. Spock blinked. There didn’t appear to be any ill will and from what he recalled the anger Kirk has expressed towards him prior to his… emotional outburst was most false. Something meant to point out or garner a reaction than anything else. </span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>“I would cite regulation, but I know you will simply ignore it.” Spock acknowledged, the past few experiences already telling him how unlikely it would be for him to be able to stop the captain. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“See? We are getting to know each other.” Kirk said with a half smile, patting him on the shoulder before walking back to take a seat in the captain's chair. “Sulu, it’s on you for now. Get us into position.” He turned to Montgomery Scott. “Scotty get down in engineering, we could use a few extra hands on those </span>
  <em>
    <span>ample nacelles</span>
  </em>
  <span>.” He said with a smile and Scotty grinned before leaving. The words left Spock wondering if had missed a human joke, and if so why they had felt the need to make one. Humans are odd creatures indeed, Spock thought. “Spock your with me.” Kirk announced he was already leaving for the transporter room. Silently Spock followed, though not before sending a message to Sulu handing over his position of first officer silently as a back up plan. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He stood silently in the transporter room, waiting for Sulu to alert them. The silence stretched out and Spock reconsidered the possibility that Kirk was upset with him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Transporter room. We are in position above Titan.” Sulu‘s voice came over the comm.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Really? Fine job Mr. Sulu, well done.” Scotty remarked, impressed. </span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>“Scotty how are we looking?” Kirk finally asked, seeing Scotty's expression change. Spock felt no need to share what he had heard, as Kirk had already asked. Instead he knelt on the pad and prepared himself mentally. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Unbelievably sir, the ship is in position.” Kirk nodded and made an odd expression that Spock could not quite decode before making his way over to the comm board to personally speak to Mr.Sulu. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Whatever happens Mr. Sulu, if you think you have the tactical advantage you fire on that ship even if we're</span>
</p><p>
  <span>still on board. That's an order.” Spocks estimation of Kirk rose yet again. To acknowledge the ones own life is forfeit when compared to the needs of many is one he witnessed many humans and other humanoids struggle with. To see it put to action even less so. The Vulcan remained silent however. Saying the words, and backing them up were two very different things.   </span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes, sir.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Otherwise we'll contact the Enterprise when we're ready to be beamed back.” Kirk clarified and they nodded. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Good luck.” Sulu said. </span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>“Alrighty then. If there’s any common sense in the design of the enemy's ship I </span>
  <em>
    <span>should</span>
  </em>
  <span> be puttin’ ya somewhere in the cargo bay, shouldn't be a soul in sight.” Scotty explained as he worked the controls.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Energize.” Kirk ordered. As they reappeared they found themselves standing in the middle of what was most assuredly </span>
  <em>
    <span>not </span>
  </em>
  <span>the cargo bay. Spock quickly found himself in a firefight with his back to Kirk’s. After capturing a stunned Romulan Spock looked down and tried to determine what to do. </span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>“I'll cover ya.” Kirk said, taking position behind him, his eyes already scanning their surroundings. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Are you certain?” Spock questioned, momentarily surprised at Kirk’s implied knowledge of Mind Melds. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, I've gotcha.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Spock braced himself and reinforced his mental shields before pressing his fingers against the side of Romulans face. Wordlessles, Spock slipped into the Romulans mind.</span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>His was chaotic, passionate not unlike the few human minds he had come to know, His mother excluded. The echo of loss that stained each memory seemed pale in comparison to his own but perhaps that was simply due to how recent it was. Spock focused, envisioning the mental landscape as a thing he could travel in, something he could navigate and find what he needed. </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>The landscape shifted, changing and Spock looked up to see two moons hanging heavy and prominent in the darkened night sky. Spock recognizes them as Romulus’s two moons, Megara and Amyclae thought the rest of the mental landscape remained vague and misty. He began to traverse the ever shifting surface, taking care that his own mental shields were still in place even as he peered under rocks or through shadows to view old memories and thoughts. The very air was an illusion of the mind as things twisted into overly passionate, even violent, parodies of reality.  The moons would crash into each other dying and splintering into a thousand pieces before returning to their original state. Repeated the action again and again in a thousand different ways with the same result. Were I human, I would say that I feel like an eternity is stretched out before me, with no rest between examining every stray item or action. </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>It was a form of tedious work he knew humans would find distasteful or boring if not for the breach of privacy and codes of honour Spock were not breaking by doing this. He refused to think about that the moment however, at least his focus weakened. It was at the moment, when the moons crashed again, the red angry shadows cast by the dying moon twisting in front of him when Spock saw it. </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>It was a memory of the ship's halls and the fight to clear out a safe place to store the black hole device. It was fuzzy with age and discolored by what Spock recognized as a singular focus on revenge. Little care or thought seemed to be put towards the function of the device or how it worked. Only that it did. Spock was left to study the device and plan through the biased and flawed memories of a grief stricken and troubled Romulan. </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Time was not on Spock's side forever, and he knew however long he felt he had in the meld reality would have different plans. Spock was capable of keeping perfect track of time. 37 seconds had already passed and while he had succeeded and locating the device used to destroy Vulcan he had no such success locating Pike. Perhaps it was this sense of urgency that caused it, perhaps not, regardless the Romulans mind responded with its own cry of urgency recalling the nearest memory and thrill of satisfaction. Playing the capture of Captain Pike and death of planet Vulcan over again in his mind. Spock refuses to allow himself to drown again in his emotions and in the emotions of the Romulan, instead focusing on Pike analyzing the structures and pathways the Romulans had used. </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Spock had succeeded. </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Do you know where it is? The black hole device?” Kirk asked, as Spock opened his eyes. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“And Captain Pike.” The Vulcan responded, rising to stand and lead the way towards their primary objective: the black hole device, whilst briefly explaining the location of Captain Pike. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“How injured is he Spock?” Kirk asked quietly, and they stopped to, once again, protect themselves from Romulan assailants. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Likes injuries while severe do not appear to be life threatening if given proper treatment quickly.” Spock replies, both answering the question and avoiding Kirk’s true question. The blonde seemed to accept that answer, though whether that was due to the circumstances or something more Spock could not say. The silvery outline of the ship containing the device came into view as they rounded the corner into the hanger bay and Spock saw complication already threatening their plan. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I foresee a complication.” Spock began as the boarded the ship and he saw his suspicions confirmed. “The design of this ship is far more advanced than I have anticipated.” He continued. Spock was aware of his own capabilities, whilst he had training he was not that pilot that Sulu was and learning to pilot an entirely new and foriegn craft under a time crunch carrying a payload with disastrous capability was not recommended. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Voice print and face recognition analysis enabled. Welcome back ambassador Spock.” The Vulcan blinked at the unexpected automated voice. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh that's weird.” Kirk said, before quickly hurrying forward into the ship, phaser still drawn in search of any hidden threats. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Computer, what is your manufacturing origin?” Spock questioned, as new questions he had not considered began to come to mind. Namely, his own involvement in the destruction of his home world. He had never considered the possibility that in another life, he might not have been a member of Star Fleet. Something akin to horror crept through his body as Spock viewed his first interaction with Nero in an entirely new light. Spock now had to consider that in another life, he may have been a traitor to the federation perhaps using an ambassador's stays to smuggle the stolen device. That, or the alternate version of himself was apprehended shortly after Romulus’s destruction— tortured and killed after they received information about the device from him. Spock was unsure how he felt about the possibility of his alternate version laying dead somewhere in the bowels of this ship. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Star date 2387. Commissioned by the Vulcan Science Academy.” The automated voice responded, and Spock considered Kirk’s lack luster reaction again and his ability to beam aboard the ship while traveling at warp speed. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It appears that you have been keeping important information from me.” Spock stated, approaching the human standing in the cockpit. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“You'll be able to fly this thing, right?” Kirk deflected.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Something tells me I already have.” Spock responded dryly arching a brow at that man.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Good luck.” The man said with a nod, ready to leave and brave the Romulan ship himself to find Captain Pike. Spock was fascinated to find that he respected that mans courage under the circumstances. Spock wished he was as confident. </span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>“Jim, The statistical likelihood that our plan will succeed is less than 4,3%.” Spock stated, </span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>“It'll work.” Kirk interrupted.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“In the event that I do not return please informLt. Uhura that—“</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Spock, it'll work.” Kirk repeated, going so far as to place his hand on his shoulder. Despite all of the circumstances and the low likelihood of success, Spock found himself deciding to believe him. Slicked watched him leave before turning to take a seat. The moment he sat the chair began to rotate of its own accord. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Fascinating.” Spock murmured, not expecting it. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Startup sequence initiated.” The automated voice announced and Spock prepared to participate in what seemed to be a no win scenario. </span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. [Kirk]</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>*************</p><p> </p><p>Despite what he told Spock, Kirk would be lying if he said he thought everyone would be coming back from this mission completely intact. Something somewhere would go wrong. It always did. The luck of the Kirk’s. Running by himself down the halls of an unfamiliar Romulans ship probably didn’t help things though. Rounding the corner he saw Nero standing perched on a catwalk looking down at him. His headache still pulsing under his skull and a rage only partially his own thrummed under his skin, Jim switched his phaser over to kill. </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>“Nero, order your men to disable the drill or I will—“ </p><p> </p><p>  </p><p>“I know your face from Earth's history.” The homicidal Romulan interrupted. “James T. Kirk was considered to be a great man. He Went on to Captain the USS Enterprise. but that was another life.” He finished narrowing his eyes as he looked down upon him and Kirk felt his chest tightened at the double meaning of those words just as Nero jumped and landed with a vicious savage grace before pinning to the floor. Kirk briefly wondered what the odds were he would make it of this fight. “A life I will deprive you of just like I did your father.” Nero sneered, bringing his face in close as thought ready to enjoy the look of pain he would be inflicting up on Jim. </p><p> </p><p>  </p><p>“Captain Nero. The Vulcan ship's been taken. The drill has been destroyed!” A voice called out, leaving Nero distracted. Pissed off, Nero jumped again, this time further and dammit it if Jim wasn’t impressed. At least he would be without the angst screaming. </p><p> </p><p>  </p><p>“Spock! SPOCK!” Nero roared, leaving to command his ship. “Open a channel.” He heard him order. </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>“Yes, sir.” </p><p> </p><p>  </p><p>“Spock, I knew I should have killed you when I had the chance.” He fumed and Jim had to be impressed with Spock showing not even an ounce of worry. Of course not he's vulcan, Jim had to remind himself watching through narrowed eyes and he scrabbled for the phaser Nero had knocked from his hand when he had him pinned. </p><p> </p><p>  </p><p>“I hereby confiscate this illegally obtained ship...and order you to surrender your vessel. No terms.” Spock replied cooly. </p><p> </p><p>  </p><p>“That ship... take it out!” Nero commanded. </p><p> </p><p>  </p><p>“Sir, if you ignite the red matter—“</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>“I want the Spock dead now!” Nero shouted and in the back of Jim’s mind he wondered if this was how Vulcans viewed Humans sometimes. Irrational, overly emotional and damaged. </p><p> </p><p>  </p><p>“He went to warp.”</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>“Go after him!”</p><p> </p><p>  </p><p>“Yes, sir.” Someone responded, as they both left to what Kirk assumed was to capture Spock. Or kill Spock. Or blow something up. Kirk wasn’t too clear on that exactly but they were doing <em>something</em>. </p><p> </p><p>Seeing his chance however Jum went for it. Only for one of the other Romulans to reach out and lift him by his throat. Abruptly Kirk felt his lungs beginning to burn as they lost their ability to gather oxygen. If I ever make it out of this I’m going to have one hell of a set of bruises, kirk thought, hands grabbing uselessly at the Romulans forearm. </p><p> </p><p>“Your species is even weaker than I expected.” The Romulan proclaimed smugly and Kirk, in usually Jim fashion, took that as a challenge if he ever heard one. His spare hand fell away grabbing at the phaser on the Romulans belt. He about had and his voice gave a weird gurgle as the struggle made it hard for him to breath. “You can’t even speak.” The Romulan continued, all high and mighty. Kirk looked forward to dropping him, even as the corners of his vision began to go black. “What?” The Romulan practically growled enjoying watching the human struggle. </p><p> </p><p>  </p><p>“I got your gun.” Kirk answered, smugness in his own voice as he fired the phaser at the Romulan who dropped and fell over the side of the catwalk. Kirk refused to look over the side to check and see if he had killed him. Instead he continued to do what he had come here to do. Get back Captain Pike.</p><p> </p><p>Alarms, or what Kirk assumed were alarms, were blaring loudly across the ship as he raced through the halls. Several Romulans seemed to be panicking and weren’t expecting Kirk. He tried not to think about how easy it seemed to pick them off as he made his way through the belly of beast. When he found him, he didn’t waste time just went straight to pulling at the straps holding his captain in place. </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>“What are you doing here?” Pike mumbles out, his head lolling and confusion laying like a haze over his eyes. </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>“Following orders.” Kirk answered steadfastly. Reaching for the next steps as he went. Like must night been as out of it as he looked though, because a moment later it was Pike that was saving Kirk’s ass. Pulling the phaser and foreign it behind him, covering the two of them with his only free hand while Kirk worked to free him. Jim chose not to comment and kept moving. Freeing him was one step, getting back was another. </p><p>  </p><p>“Enterprise now!” Kirk order into his communicator as Pike leaned against him, his head falling against his shoulder. Whatever strength he had when covering them seemed to be all he had and Kirk struggled to keep him upright as the transporter worked it’s magic. </p><p>  </p><p>“Nice timing Scotty.” Kirk called, as he tried not to tumble under Pike's weight, even if he was lighter than what Jim thought he should have been. </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>“I never beamed three people from two targets onto one pad before!” Scotty called out laughing excitedly, looking at them with a wicked look in his eyes. Before Jim could answer, or even think of an answer Bones was in the transporter room with a stretcher.</p><p> </p><p>“Jim!” He called out, tricorder already in hand. </p><p>  </p><p>“Bones,” Kirk responded, that hopeless feeling trying for a comeback. The other med staff that came with him already taking Pike away, but Bones must have seen something in his face because he took a moment to stop,</p><p> </p><p>“I’ve got him.” He said quietly hand on his shoulder and determination in his eyes. The blonde nodded. Bones would do what he could, now it was time to buck up and act like a federation Captain. He left and made his way to the bridge. As he did so, Scotty called after him saying, </p><p> </p><p>“That was pretty good!” The words making him feel guilty that he couldn’t say something back but he just didn’t have time. </p><p>  </p><p>“Captain, the enemy ship is losing power. They're shields are down.” Sulu announced his attention focused on the screen in front him. Looking ahead All Kirk saw was a dying ship and a huge gaping maw. Kirk squared his shoulders and took a breath as Spock came to stand just behind and to the side of him. Time to start acting like a captain, Kirk thought lifting chin and plastering his best smile on his face. </p><p> </p><p>“Hail them now.” He ordered. </p><p> </p><p>“Understood.” Uhura responded moving without hesitation.</p><p> </p><p>“This is Captain James T. Kirk of the USS Enterprise. Your ship is compromised. You're too close to the singularity to survive without assistance which we are willing to provide.” He said and all at once he could feel the eyes of everyone on the bridge turn to him. Spock turned, his back facing the viewscreen so he could speak. </p><p> </p><p>“Captain, what are you doing?” The Vulcan questioned and Kirk began to doubt himself. He was just trying to uphold Starfleet and Federation values and be good acting captain. </p><p> </p><p>“If You show them compassion, it may be the only way to earn peace with Romulus. It's logic Spock, thought you'd like that?”</p><p> </p><p>“No, not really. Not this time.” The Vulcan answered, and Kirk understood. Before he could say anything however, Nero began to speak. </p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>“I WOULD RATHER SUFFER THE END OF ROMULUS A THOUSAND TIMES I WOULD RATHER DIE IN AGONY THAN ACCEPT ASSISTANCE FROM YOU!” </strong>
</p><p> </p><p>“You've got it.”  Kirk said with a nod, taking his seat in the captain's chair. Time to help a deranged Romulan commit suicide, Kirkthought before ordering Sulu, “Arm phasers. Fire everything we've got.”   </p><p> </p><p>“Yes, sir.” Sulu responded already moving to do as instructed. As they fired on the dying ship, Kirk felt a dark sense of satisfaction at watching it crumple in on itself. Kirk wondered what that said about him, that his reaction to their deaths was one of relief and happiness. Wondered if that made him a bad person. </p><p>
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</p><p>“Sulu, let's go home.” He ordered, as the aches and pains of the entire ordeal began to slowly catch up with him. </p><p>
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</p><p>“Yes, sir.” Sulu responded, playing with the controls but nothing seemed to happen. They were stuck. They weren’t getting any closer but they definitely were getting any further away from it either. </p><p> </p><p>“Why aren't we at warp?” Kirk questioned, dreaded curling up in his gut. </p><p> </p><p>“We are, sir.”</p><p> </p><p>“Kirk to engineering, Get us out of here, Scotty.” He said quickly coming to depend on the Scotsman. </p><p>  </p><p>“You bet your ass captain!”</p><p>  </p><p>“Captain, we're caught in the gravity well. It's got us.” Chekov said, panic in his young eyes. He was looking to Kirk for answers. All of them were. </p><p> </p><p>“Go to maximum warp. Push it!” Kirk ordered, still on the comm with Scotty, feeling tremors rock the ship as it began to sink closer to the Black Hole. </p><p> </p><p>“I'm givin’ it all she's got captain!” Scotty called back, another tremor rocked the ship and the lights began to flicker. </p><p> </p><p>“All she's got isn't good enough. What else have you got?”</p><p>  </p><p>“Uh— if we eject the core and detonate the blast could be enough to push us away. I cannae promise anythin’ though!” Scotty responded flustered and trying to think of a way to get them out of this situation. A cracking sound made Kirk’s eyes go wide as he saw a small crack quickly beginning to grow and race its way across the glass front of the ship.</p><p> </p><p>“Do it! Do it! Do it!” Kirk repeated, adrenaline returning to his veins with a rush. He could hear Scotty ordering his engineers to evacuate the area as he worked to pull of a dangerous plan. As he looked around the bridge at the people he had only just begun to work with, Kirk hoped it was enough. At first it seemed like nothing had happened, then just as suddenly something exploded. Brilliant blue shades sending them rocketing away from the black hole. They made it. Now if only the could regain control of the ship that was now spinning madly through space. </p><p> </p><p>Sulu was pressed against his station, trying to keep his seat in his chair as the ship tossed them around in the aftermath of the explosion. Finally, with Chekovs helps and Spock assuring him from his own station they were able to pull them back and settle, though not without a last final jerk which sent Kirk halfway over the arm of his chair, and pain up his spine. Groaning, Kirk slowly pulled himself upright. </p><p> </p><p>“Status?” Kirk called trying not to curse and grab at his side. </p><p> </p><p>“Life support systems and gravitational systems are functioning.” Spock reported first. </p><p>
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</p><p>“There’s a malfunction in the internal communication systems. For the time being any ship wide communications will have to be done the old fashioned way.” Uhura answered, frowned as she listened and worked on trying to figure out what had caused it. </p><p> </p><p>“Sulu?” Kirk asked, now clutching his side.  </p><p> </p><p>“I’ve lost warp factor. For the time being if we want to go anywhere it’s on Impulse only.” The Asian man responded, unhappily. “But the navigation system is mostly intact. A few repairs and it will be back to working order.” </p><p> </p><p>The bridge was still focused on him, their eyes waiting for his next order and Jim tried to get his head to focus. </p><p> </p><p>“Uhura, ship wide communications are down right? what about personal comm units?” Kirk asked, running a hand down his face, as the headache he had been nursing since Old Spock on Dela Vega decided to throw a an emotional mental hammer at him. Uhura blinked, turning back to check and see. “Several of them are down but I can get units 33, 50 and 65 running with an hour or so.”</p><p> </p><p>“Understood.” Kirk answered. “Sulu, what’s the nearest federation planet?”</p><p> </p><p>“Vul—“ he started to say but stopped as the room went somber. The events of they day were slowly catching up to all of them. Sulu cleared his throat. “Delta Vega sir.”</p><p> </p><p>“Plot a course. We can’t sit drifting in space here. It’s like asking for the Klingons and Romulans to get curious. Most of the rest of the fleet are still in the Laurentia system. Uhura, I want a continuous signal on all federation frequencies while en route to Delta Vega. They sooner someone comes to get us the better.” She nodded and turned to begin her work as Sulu slowly began to help the ship limp along to the frozen wasteland of a planet Delta Vega. It was quiet for only a moment before Spock stood up. </p><p>
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</p><p>“Captain, in light of the communication failure I would like to offer my services to relay this information to Mr.Scott and assist in engineering repairs.” </p><p>
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</p><p>“Permission granted.” Kirk answered. “When we get the comm units working I’ll send Chekov down with them. We need to be able to communicate quickly if something happens.”</p><p>
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</p><p>“Understood.” Spock answered, and just as he was about to leave Kirk stopped him,”</p><p>
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</p><p>“If you see any other communications officers ask that they report to the Bridge so Uhura can brief them on the situation.”  The Vulcan inclines his heads acknowledging it but otherwise saying nothing as he left. </p><p> </p><p><br/>*************</p><p> </p><p>With the immediate tasks out of the way Kirk felt drained, and ready for a very long nap. He felt as though he had barely blinked when Uhura moved to give him the personal comm unit she fixed up for him to use— god only knows who’s it was and Kirk tried not to feel like an asshole as he took it. It was for the good of the ship and the people on this ship. </p><p> </p><p>“Chekov?” He said, as she held out the other two units. “Give unit 55 to Spock and unit 65 to Scott. Once there I want you to stay down there and see if you can assist with repairs. At this speed Sulu is fully capable of handling this ship navigation himself and we’ll need the extra hands down there.” </p><p>
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</p><p>“Aye Captain.” He said, his voice sounding like a shout to Kirks ears before he left the bridge. Kirk looked around at the remaining bridge crew, noting how exhausted they looked. They need to sleep. Kirk thought, frowning.  He thought about sending McCoy a com message only to remember that the ships comm’s were down. His mind made up, Kirk stood sucking in his breath between clenched teeth as he did so. His back hurt, his ribs hurt worse and he didn’t even want to think about the dark purple marks likely chained around his neck— courtesy of Nero and Spock. He frowned. I can’t go see Bones like this, he wouldn’t ever let me escape. The turbo lift opened to reveal a communications officer. </p><p> </p><p>“Lieutenant Junior Grade Yeh Kwan reporting.” The officer said, his red shirt snug over his purple skin. “Ma’am.” He said pulling out a clipboard, carrying several papers. “Engineering and Medbay reports.” </p><p> </p><p>“Excellent.” Uhura responded, taking the reports already, making notes and trying to compare with information she had. The officer stood ready and waiting to carry the information back. </p><p> </p><p>“How’s it looking Uhura?” Kirk asked, taking careful sore steps towards her. </p><p> </p><p>“A lot of the crew is exhausted.” She answered, still looking over the reports. “Plenty are still injured, and we have to figure out what to do with the Vulcan’s we managed to rescue.” Kirk’s brow furrowed as he considered it. </p><p> </p><p>“How many were we able to save?” Kirk asked quietly, and it seemed like the temperature of the room dropped. </p><p> </p><p>“At present, we have 4,372 on board.” She murmured. </p><p> </p><p>“And the crew?” Kirk continued clearing his throat, the heavy loss of it all made it hard to swallow. </p><p> </p><p>“We lost 46 crew members.” She answered with a sigh. “More are injured and unable to work. McCoy is working on it as we speak.” Even as she spoke He could see the lack of sleep getting to her, the shadows under her eyes. </p><p> </p><p>“Sulu, you have a padd? I need one.” </p><p> </p><p>“Yes sir”. The helmsman answered, reaching under his desk and pulling one from the compartment. </p><p> </p><p>“Thank you.” Kirk said reflexively, already putting his own tired mind to work. There were still plenty of things that needed taken care of, and as the captain— acting captain, Kirk reminded himself uncomfortably, it fell under his responsibility. </p><p> </p><p>“Uhura, do we have any public data folders the crew can access?” He asked, and she blinked.</p><p> </p><p>“You mean like archive folders?” She paused, thinking for a moment. “There’s an Archive database in the ship. It was designed to collect and store mission reports and data.”</p><p> </p><p>“Can you access it from ship terminals?” </p><p> </p><p>“Yes!” She answered his eyes brightening as she caught onto what Kirk was thinking, already turning to get to work. </p><p> </p><p>“Do it.” Kirk ordered, already flipping through the padd to try and draw up some shift rotations that compensated for the missing and injured crew members. Using the archive folder was a stroke of genius that came from Kirk’s memories of his great grandmother's classic 20th century desktop. As long as there was power it always seemed to work. It didn’t need fancy connections or mics or anything. </p><p> </p><p>“Done!” Uhura announced, turning to face Kirk. “I relabeled the archive folder, Ship Communications. I also added a sub folder to better locate information, one for engineering info, one for medbay, so on. Everything is organized by Date and Time with the most recent appearing first. Ship Wide announcements have their own folder as well.” </p><p> </p><p>“Perfect.” Kirk nodded at her, pleased he had that taken care of. Now all he had to do was make sure the crew figured out that this was a thing. “Yeh Kwan, I have a job for you.” Kirk said, and the officer snapped to attention and turned to face him. </p><p> </p><p>“Sir.”</p><p> </p><p>“We have this up and running but that doesn’t mean anything if people don’t know about it.” He explained. “I need you to spread the word. Make sure that if nothing else, the heads of the departments are made aware of it.”</p><p> </p><p>“Understood.”</p><p> </p><p>“Uhura, will you post an explanation in the Ship Wide announcement folder? People can refer to that to help avoid confusion. Also, post the reports you receive in the respective folders.” </p><p> </p><p>“on it.” She responded, turning and letting her fingers fly across her touchpad. Kirk picked up the communicator that Uhura had rigged for him and sent a quick message explaining the archive folder to both Spock and Scotty just for extra measure. </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>[From: Me]      [To: Scotty &amp; Spock]  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>It’s not a perfect solution but it will work and will make communication a lot easier. I don’t want to run Uhura’s department to the ground if I don’t have to.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>[From:Scotty]      [To: Me &amp; Spock] </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Aye, this’ll do nicely. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>[From Spock]      [To: Me and Scotty]</em>
</p><p>
  <em> Fascinating. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>[From:Scotty]      [To: Me &amp; Spock]   </em>
</p><p>
  <em> if I see any communications officers, I’ll let ‘em know and spread the word to my department. </em>
</p><p>
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</p><p>That problem taken care of for now Kirk returned his attention to the Shift Rotation Schedule. He puzzled over it for almost hour trying to recall who had experience and who didn’t. Most didn’t have any, the Enterprise's maiden voyage becoming a trial by fire for many freshly graduated cadets. To say nothing of the crew members who didn’t make it and had to be removed from rotation all together. Between cross checking the list from Medbay, listing the critically injured and dead and trying to make sure there was a person with experience on each rotation, and A severe headache it took a bit longer than he thought it would. 4 hours. In that span of time, most of the crew had heard about and started using the Archive that Uhura had rigged up for him. </p><p> </p><p>“Uhura, I have a file I need you to copy and upload. Post it in Ship Wide Announcements with a note that it is effective immediately.” Kirk ordered, handing her the padd. She nodded, standing to take the padd so she could view it and make a copy to upload from her station, only hesitating when she realized what it was. If she disagreed with it all however she certainly didn’t say anything. </p><p> </p><p>“Done.” She said calmly, handing the padd back to Kirk and leaning back in her chair. “I’ll take my leave once my relief reports to the bridge.” She added, glancing at the door, exhaustion more evident that before in her frame. </p><p> </p><p>“Sulu, that goes for you too.” Kirk added, looking at the helmsman. </p><p> </p><p>“Aye Captain.” The Asian man responded, taking a moment to look over the shift schedule himself. The turbo lift hissed open to reveal two figures entering the bridge. </p><p> </p><p>“Ah, Mister Kwan. Welcome to the bridge.” Kirk Said with a smile. Uhura stood and, with a nod towards the Captain left the bridge with Sulu close behind. </p><p> </p><p>“Lieutenant Junior Grade Yeh Kwan and Ensign Selaal Sh'shriannik reporting for duty.” He responded before taking a seat in front of Uhura's station. </p><p> </p><p>“Captain.” The ensign said calmly before she took her seat at the helm and began monitoring their progress to Delta Vega. </p><p>
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  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Ensign Selaal Sh'shriannik is an Andorian, which fun fact Andorian actually have 4 genders. 2 of which are mostly female (zhen and shen) and 2 of which are mostly male (chan and thaan). So to help identify Andorian use four prefixes zh', sh', ch' and th'. Which the put after their first name but before their clan name.  So Selaal is using the Ship prefix since she’s a woman. </p><p>As for Yeh Kwan, I’m pretty sure I’ve seen some purple aliens in the background but I they never explicitly named them and I have decided on a species name yet.</p><p>Finally, some ranking notes:<br/>Yeh Kwan is a Lieutenant Junior Grade bit that has nothing to do with age. Star Trek pulled pretty heavily from the military ranking of the Navy so I pulled them. </p><p>In order of least ranked to highest ranked:<br/>• Ensign<br/>• Lieutenant Junior Grade<br/>• Lieutenant<br/>• Lieutenant Commander<br/>• Commander<br/>• Captain<br/>• Rear Admiral Lower Half<br/>• Rear Admiral Upper Half<br/>• Vice Admiral<br/>• Admiral<br/>• Fleet Admiral</p><p>That said, there are rankings higher than that because the federation spans planets. There is a council for the federation as well as a president of the federation.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. [Spock]</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Spock is compromised and maybe does some unVulcan like things. Uhura won’t do anything without his consent, and Spock asked.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>To be clear, Spock does give his consent. Maybe it’s a bit dubious given his emotional state but all things considered its a clearly stated as he could give they both made it clear that it could be retracted at any given time.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>*****************</p><p> </p><p>Spock sat in his quarters, candles lit and his <strike> favorite </strike> incense burning attempting, <em> and failing </em>,  to meditate. Once again he felt adrift, only this time it seemed that vastness of space would do little to help sooth him. Were he human Spock might have considered finding someone and ‘drink until the sun came up’. He was not. He could not. </p><p> </p><p>Since his conversation with his father in the transporter room, Spock had not seen his father. He knew, logically, he was here somewhere in the ship. But his mind craved physical reassurance. To see and hear his voice and confirm again that he still had family left. It was strange. He had not had contact with his father since his decision to join Starfleet over the Vulcan science academy. As Beta shift drew to a close Spock resigned himself to his failure and a sleepless night. An old buried shame rose at the thought of sleep. Vulcans, as a rule, do not dream. It seems a waste of energy to allow the mind to engage in illogical tendencies during a time of rest. Spock however did dream. Not often of course, but he dreaded going to sleep with the events so recent, and the bond with his mother so abruptly shattered and torn. Spock stood, and went to the replicator caving to a rare indulgence in tea. Small tea packets were stood in the drawers beneath it. An illogical thing, as the replicator was more than capable of producing a variety of teas without any hassle. The process however of preparing and pouring the tea however was soothing and the flavor he found unmatched by the replicator. The flavor was even and sweet without being sugary. He relished it as he sat in the quiet shadows of his room and considered the man known as James T. Kirk. He was beginning to see how in error he was in his assumptions regarding the man. He had proven himself capable of handling a seemingly impossible no-win scenario and while still maintaining control of oneself and one's crew. Something he himself had failed in. </p><p> </p><p>A chime rang from his door, and Spock straightened his spine. “Enter.” He said calmly.” It was Nyota. </p><p> </p><p>“Hi Spock.” She said calmly, as she entered. The door humming shut behind her. “I came to check on you. Are you okay? I know it might be a silly question considering everything but…” she hesitated and Spock was struck with the realization that this was the first time in their entire acquaintance that he had witnessed her at a loss for words. </p><p> </p><p>“I am functioning.” He answered truthfully. The answer did not seem to please her, as he knew it likely would not. She glanced at his tea, and let out a breath. </p><p> </p><p>“I grieve with thee.” She murmured in flawless Vulcan, and Spock bowed his head. “We are at least able to do something about our communication problem thanks to Kirk. He had a brilliant idea of repurposing the Data Archive. Of course it’s going to be a pain in the ass later and security isn’t exactly <em> thrilled </em> but so far nothing damaging has been posted or anything.” She spoke, attempting to ease his tension with simple problems and explanations as She drifted closer. It was working. After a moment she began reaching for him carefully before drawing him into a hug. It was something he had not experienced in many years, not since he had begun refusing his mother as a child. It hurt, and Spock had to scramble to pull his shields together lest he unintentionally share his own emotional distraught with her. </p><p> </p><p>“I— I’m sorry Spock.” She continued, moving to release him as she realized her actions. Spock stopped her and she blinked. Maybe it was the gleam in his eyes, maybe it wasn’t but She understood quickly. </p><p> </p><p>“T’Pring?” She questioned, recalling a conversation he had with her while still at the academy. Reasons why a romantic relationship was something he could offer her. </p><p> </p><p>“Deceased.” Spock answered simply, his mind holding a gaping hole where others minds once hummed in the background. Understanding came into her eyes as she leaned forward and let her fingers trail over his. A Vulcan Kiss. Despite being tired, Nyota was careful and thorough in her attention to him. With other humans Spock might have felt the need to explain but she understood, at least as much humans ever seemed able to.  Gently, carefully she ran his fingers up along his open palm. It felt...good. Spock was still standing next to his tea like he was when she entered. Taking a deep breath Uhura cupped his hand with her own and brought it to her mouth, making careful eye contact the entire time. Spock swallowed, understanding what she intended to do, and not making a move to prevent it. Carefully, she opened her mouth and let her tongue run along his index finger, and trace the lines on his palm. It sent a thrill through his skin, even as her tongue felt strange. A foreign thing he had no comparison for. It's hot and wet.</p><p> </p><p>“Your cold.” Uhura murmured, pausing to look up at him. </p><p> </p><p>“Humans average body temperature is 98.6. Vulcan average is 91. My own body temperature maintains an average of 89.” Spock answered swiftly. Nyota blinked, taking in that information before drifting closer, running her hands along the side of his face. </p><p> </p><p>“I suppose I had best keep you warm then.” She replied, before leaning forward to kiss him in the Terran style. Lips and tongue and <em> teeth </em> . Spock did not know what to make of that. It was pleasant enough he supposed, as he let himself relishing in the emotions occasionally slipping through his mental shields. He let his hands run the length of her arms, indulging himself before she stepped away. She gave him a coy smile before slipping out of her shirt and taking him by the hand to lead him to his own bed. He followed her lead, pulling his shirt off, taking a moment to fold it while he tried to reinforce his mental shields. When he turned to face her, she had already slipped free from her skirt as well. Dark flawless skin laid bare, save for her standard issue black bra and panties. Nyota gave him and encouraging smile as she sat up on the bed, holding out her hands for him. He took them, grateful for the contact and let himself enjoy the sensations pulsing through his skin at the contact. She kissed him again, slipping her tongue into his mouth as she ran her hands down his back slowly pressing into his skin to pull him closer while she tugged at him. It was….comforting. Her touch seemed soft and gentle though he was certain she was attempting to apply some level of force behind them. Quietly, he adjusted, trying to cooperate with her, moving to suit where she wanted him. His telepathy had its own uses, and even with his sheilds in place he could feel her pleasure increase as he licked at her ear lobe— even more when gave it a soft nip. She was an sea of emotion, open and laid bare under him. Spock quickly began to use it to his advantage, pressing, kissing and playing with her like a delicate instrument until she was <em> gasping </em> for air and her arousal roared underneath her skin. Determined she reached forward, intent on unzipping his pants, her cheeks red and her eyes glazed with a hazy lust. When she reached however she faltered, and Spock blinked as he felt alarm race under her skin. </p><p> </p><p>“What’s wrong?”</p><p> </p><p>“What’s wrong? Jesus Spock you not even hard!” Nyota panted, scotting away from him as she moved to cover her bare case with her arms. Her bra had been lost somewhere between biting her ear and her sucking on his fingers. Spock felt his ears turn a slight shade of green. He had not considered their… anatomical differences when they began this endeavor. </p><p> </p><p>“I am not currently capable of that.” Spock said stiffly, leaning back. Her eyes widened before suking in a breath.</p><p> </p><p>“What do you mean <em> not currently </em>?” She asked, her voice shifting to her to her professional tone. “Explain it to me. Please.” She added, running a hand through her hair. Spock hesitated for a moment trying to figure out best to explain without giving to much away. </p><p> </p><p>“Vulcans mate according to a 7 year cycle.” Spock said, shame turning his cheeks a deeper shade of green because already he felt like he was too close mentioning <em> that </em> time. </p><p> </p><p>“Okay.” She said encouragingly, seeing how difficult it was for him. “Does this mean you simply uh, can’t get it up or…” resigned Spock nodded slowly. </p><p> </p><p>“I currently like the hormones necessary to turn this into a… full sexual encounter.” He admitted. Nyota paused, thinking. </p><p> </p><p>“But you… still enjoyed what we were doing?” She asked, and Spock could read the guilt in her eyes. </p><p> </p><p>“I did. It was pleasant.” Spock answered. Nyota didn’t look reassured, and he quickly moved to clarify. “I am not <em> unaffected </em> Nyota.” He murmured, and he held her gaze for a moment before turning his head away. “Do you desire to leave?” He asked quietly not sure if he wanted her to leave, but now unsure if he still wished her to remain. </p><p> </p><p>“To be honest Spock, to me, part of the pleasure is being able to give back.” She began letting out a sigh. Spock remained silent. Nyota looked at him closely and wrapped her fingers around his. “Tell me honestly, Is this something that you want?”</p><p> </p><p>“If I found this distressing or unpleasant I would not be engaging in it.” Spock answered stiffly.</p><p> </p><p>“Tolerating is not the same as wanting.” She explained softly. <br/><br/></p><p>“You are correct.” Spock admitted reluctantly. “I must apologize, it was an oversight to not consider human customs regarding intercourse. I am… inexperienced.”</p><p> </p><p>“You're a virgin?” She asked, blinking. Spock nodded. “Why now?” Spock was silent for a long moment, bowing his head as he attempted to find the words that best explain his view of the situation. Why he decided now. </p><p> </p><p>“I… crave it.” He admitted, shaming coloring his cheeks with a light dusting of green. </p><p> </p><p>“Sex?”</p><p> </p><p>“The connection.” He corrected before continuing. “To vulcans, our connections— our bonds, are as much a part of our mental well being as our lungs or our hearts are for our physical well being.” Spock paused, again considering his words, explaining something so ingrained and intangible like mental links to humans was akin to describing color to someone who was born blind. Difficult. “I have been stripped of mine. As have many. Before you entered I was attempting to meditate, but I was failing.” Nyota looked slightly upset, but waited for him to finish before saying anything, as she saw his struggle. “There are few of us left now and there are many who now suffer. As I am only half Vulcan I…. <em> fear </em> for my race.” </p><p> </p><p>“Spock.” Nyota said softly. “This? This is between you and me. What does that have anything to do with it?” She asked, confused.</p><p> </p><p>“I failed Nyota. Many times over today.” Spock admitted. “I have responsibilities I must carry out, for the benefit of my race I must be fit for duty. But I am not. I am… hollow.” The Vulcan looked down at his hands. “The healers who are responsible for help others must themselves be centered to assist. I cannot go to them, and I cannot stay as I am.” </p><p> </p><p>“So you turned to the human method of coping?” Nyota questioned. Spock nodded silently. “Spock, that’s not healthy.” </p><p> </p><p>“For humans perhaps not. If I were planning on maintaining this as a long term solution I would also agree with you. However—“</p><p> </p><p>“You just need something to help stabilize you for the time being.” She finished. He nodded. “And this would help you?” </p><p> </p><p>“Yes. Vulcans do not lie.”</p><p> </p><p>“Short term? Not dating but still friends right?” She checked</p><p> </p><p>“I believe there is a term humans use, <em> friends with benefits </em>.” Spock answered. Nyota thought for a moment. </p><p> </p><p>“Are you sure? I didn’t pressure you or anything right?” She asked, still a little hesitant. </p><p> </p><p>“Nyota, you have my consent. If I find at any time I am distressed, I will alert you.” The words seemed to sooth her, reassure her she wasn’t taking advantage of this situation. </p><p> </p><p>“Alright.” She agreed finally, with a determined look on her face. “In that case, I had better teach you the wonder of women everywhere. It’s called the <em> clitoris </em>.” She said with a sly smile. “Pay close attention Spock,” she said slowly as she slipped free from her panties— her last article of clothing— and her back against the headboard, her fingers trailing downward. “You May be tested on this later.” She teased. </p><p> </p><p>True to her word, Nyota had… <em>demonstrated</em> the proper manner to stimulate her before asking him to prove he had been paying attention. He was. By the end of their encounter he was still reeling from the sensations she had stirred when he had fingered her to completion. The raw unfiltered emotion pouring from her striking at his mental shields sent small shockwaves down his spine. What should be damaging for his mental well being was— perhaps due to his human heritage— proving to be <em>helpful</em>. She licked his fingers clean afterwards something that made him want to curl his toes and drop his shields. He did neither of those things, but he did enjoy himself.  Afterwards she left with a quiet smile and went to her own quarters to rest, leaving Spock to his own devices. </p><p> </p><p>He had readjusted his room temperature higher when she left feeling chills run down his arms in the cold then took a sonic shower and cleaned up before he lay out on the bed. His mind was quiet. It had worked as he had intended though it was not without flaw. He could continue to do his work and he knew Nyota would never disclose their relationship needlessly or recklessness but his actions tonight had proved what many of his peers from childhood had claimed. He was not a true vulcan. Regardless his mind was cleared and his turned his thoughts to the situation at hand briefly considering the situation with the numerous Vulcan passengers on board with no sleeping quarters. Just a Spock began to pursue this line of thinking attempting to find a way to solve this quandary the communicator Uhura had rigged for him lit up with a message. <br/><br/></p><p>Curious at who would be contacting him at south an hour, considering Scotty was scheduled to be asleep. He looked to see it was in fact Kirk. </p><p> </p><p>
  <em> [From: Captain James T. Kirk]   [To: Me] </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Spock, when you wake up I want your help find places for our Vulcans guests to rest. I was thinking of trying to repurpose the rec rooms but I’m not sure who I can pull to help do that all things considered.  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>Spock blinked. Fascinating, he thought. As he read before considering his answer. The Rec Rooms were an unoccupied space but they were necessary to many of the crew members' well being. Too many would seek relaxation  there to make a suitable place of peace and grieving for the survivors.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> [From: Me]   [To: Captain James T. Kirk] </em>
</p><p>
  <em> The situation indeed could be improved. I advise against the recreation rooms however. The spaces themselves are small and to frequently visited to be a place of rest.  </em>
</p><p>
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</p><p>
  <em> [From: Captain James T. Kirk]   [To: Me] </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Good point, I didn’t think of that, maybe the cargo bay?? Hey wait— what are you doing awake? Shouldn’t you be sleeping yourself? </em>
</p><p> </p><p>Spock raised a brow at Kirk’s question of his sleeping habits. The man himself wasn’t asleep, and he required more than Spock himself did. He decided to ignore the question, it was likely one of those illogical rhetorical questions many humans seemed so fond of. He focused his attention on the Cargo Bay instead. It was a large space, and relatively undismayed. What was broken had been repaired and it would not be frequented much due to the nature of this situation. There’s little need for many of the crew members to be down there. The remaining  Vulcans can grieve in peace. </p><p> </p><p>
  <em> [From: Me]   [To: Captain James T. Kirk] </em>
</p><p>
  <em> The Cargo Bay would suffice. As the ship had not been loaded for a mission it remains relatively empty and intact. I recommended pulling from engineering, and lower ranked officers to repurpose the area. Should anything occur the officers with more experience will perform repair or other duties with a speed and ease they still currently lack.  </em>
</p><p>
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</p><p>
  <em> [From: Acting Captain James T. Kirk]   [To: Me] </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Awesome. I’ll do that. I have them replicate some more bedding as well. I doubt we have enough to go around. Also you never did answer my question. Pretty sure your supposed to be asleep right now.  </em>
</p><p>
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</p><p>
  <em> [From: Me]   [To: Acting Captain James T. Kirk] </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Vulcans require less sleep than humans. I have rested sufficiently. I do believe I should instead be asking you this question. Why are you still awake? </em>
</p><p>
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</p><p>
  <em> [From: Acting Captain James T. Kirk]   [To: Me] </em>
</p><p>
  <em> I’m fine. I still have all of these other things to take care of. Hey if your still awake you mind assisting setting up that Cargo Bay then? It could use a Vulcan touch.  </em>
</p><p>
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</p><p>Spock raised his brow at the phrase. Curious, he thought as puzzled over how his physical contact with cargo bay would make it any more suitable. </p><p>
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</p><p>
  <em> [From: Me]   [To: Acting Captain James T. Kirk] </em>
</p><p>
  <em> I fail to see how my touch as you put it, would make any difference in their comfort levels.  </em>
</p><p>
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</p><p>
  <em> [From: Acting Captain James T. Kirk]   [To: Me] </em>
</p><p>
  <em> It’s a phrase. I have another question for you, what’s the status on the replicators? </em>
</p><p>
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</p><p>
  <em> [From: Me]   [To: Acting Captain James T. Kirk] </em>
</p><p>
  <em> The replicators are fully functional with no signs of damage to any of the units save for that in Engineering. Those units have a peculiar issue replicating anything other than noodles or alcohol.  </em>
</p><p>
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</p><p>Spock stood looking at the comm unit as more prices of the puzzle that was James T. Kirk fell into his lap. Nyota has stated earlier that it was his idea to utilize the Data Archive as a method of communications, which while imperfect showed a capacity for ingenuity that he was quickly coming to see and respect in the man. Kirk showed a remarkable sense of compassion and trust in him as well, something he did not expect given his actions against him and while Spock lay with Uhura he was awake, watching the ship and making plans to improve the situation as best as he could. Kirk was quickly being shown to be an exemplary Captain. Indeed, Kirk even paid attention to the replicators, something even older captains failed to take into account. As the primary source of food in this ship a lack of working replicators could become a very large issue rapidly. Kirk is proving to be a capable and admirable captain, Spock thought as he ensured he was presentable before following the Captain's order to assist with the repurposing of the cargo bay.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> [From: Me]   [To: Acting Captain James T. Kirk] </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Captain, I am leaving shortly for Cargo Bay to oversee the repurposing. Which crew members are to assist me? </em>
</p><p>
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</p><p>
  <em> [From: Acting Captain James T. Kirk]   [To: Me] </em>
</p><p>
  <em> I’ll send them a notification, don't worry. They’ll meet you there. Thanks </em>
</p><p>
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  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I don’t think it’s in Vulcan society to engage in “Friends with Benefits” but Spock both, a) half human b) compromised c) suffering from the idea that to help his people he has to suffer. </p><p>Note on the hormone thing Spock mentions:<br/>I always found it unlikely that given the fact Vulcan makes undergo ponfarr which is always known as “the time of mating” it seemed unlikely that they would be able to engage in a full fledged sexually encounter outside of that. At the very least not until after they have had their first ponfarr. Which this Version of Spock has not had. </p><p>Note on Vulcan Temperature:<br/>Average human body temp. is 98.6, however Vulcan is a desert planet with a much higher temperature because the way it’s star system is set up. </p><p>From the planets surface two stars are visible, but it’s primary star 40 Eridani (or Omicron Eridani) is actually listed as being part of a trinket Star system, not binary. (The other two stars being a white dwarf 40 Eridani B and a red dwarf 40 Eridani C) so even though they are far away they would still be visible even during the day, Eridani C would appear more akin to a star, like our North Star but bright them. </p><p>Anyway back to the temp. If it’s so hot Vulcans would develop lower body temps and higher radiation shielding. So the average Vulcan temp. is 91 degrees, with some variations among individuals just like humans. Spocks standard body temp is 89 degrees. Almost a full 10 degree difference, so yeah I think that would impact physical sensations. </p><p>I pulled the information regarding body temperatures from the Fandom Wiki site regarding Vulcans as a race and the star system info from the plants Fandom Wiki site. </p><p>The hormone thing is something I decided on using personally for the story given that it would lend itself and support the whole hormone ponfarr theory. Since we don’t actually know what’s behind ponfarr other than that there’s a blood fever.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
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